Listening skills are among the most important skills in Motivational Interviewing. In workshops and one-to-one coaching to improve MI skills, we emphasize really listening, not just to the words the client uses in conversation, but the meaning behind the words. We think of this as a “highly refined” form of listening.
In order to listen this carefully you must be present in the moment with the other person. If you are distracted by situations in your own life, or by thinking about what you will say next, it’s hard to be really present. Mindfulness is “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.”
One of the important processes in MI is collaboration, so that you are in a partnership with the client, rather than a top down, “I’m the expert and you’re not” sort of relationship. In order to be a collaborator, you must be really listening to who the other person is, as regards the behavior change being considered, and what that change might mean to them. So, your listening skills are crucial to collaboration.
I know that our practices are very busy, and we have a lot to think about during the work day. Besides what might be going on at your workplace, we all have personal issues and situations we carry around with us. Your client deserves your best possible attention and care. As you approach your appointment with the client, stop for a few seconds, take a deep breath, and calm your mind. Focus on listening, really listening to what your client says, and what s/he might mean. Your goal is to understand how this behavior change might work in his/her life, and what it might mean to them. Remember that the client is the expert in their own life.
Mindfulness is a practice that can improve all of our lives, and extending it to our relationship with clients can really improve your effectiveness as an agent of behavior change.
