I recently attended a program at my Temple Shalom of Newton, where I am a member. This program was for Slichot, which is the time before the high holidays, the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. During this time, we prepare to consider our actions during the past year, to take an inventory of ourselves, to make amends to any people we have hurt, and to resolve to change in the coming year.
We viewed a video of Dr. Brene Brown giving a talk for the TED program (www.ted.com), which is billed as “ideas worth spreading”. I highly recommend this talk series, which is now in many major cities and includes a vast array of topics.
Dr. Brown’s talk is on her research on vulnerability and shame. She talks about the need to be vulnerable in appropriate places in life, in order to enrich one’s life and to foster creativity. The wonderful thing about listening to Dr. Brown is her ability to tell a good story, and she includes many about her personal and professional experiences exploring these ideas. One of the main points Dr. Brown makes is the importance of learning how to share who we really are with others, and be vulnerable. The thing that keeps many of us from doing this is shame, the idea that we are not good enough. She distinguishes guilt, which is “I made a mistake” from shame, which is “I am a mistake”. It is the feeling of shame that keeps us from really connecting with others, from these connections with others comes our ability to be creative and to really change the world.
I highly recommend Dr. Brown’s TED talks and her books, Daring Greatly, and The Gift of Imperfection.
So, connecting back to the concepts from the Slichot program I attended, we are asked to explore who we have been with others, and with ourselves. Brene Brown’s ideas encourage each person to be the best person they can be with oneself and with others. Personally, I think it’s important to include ourselves in the list of people to whom we make amends.
If you’re anything like me, you are often hardest on yourself!
