This summer my daughter Amy and her 2 children, Tiago who is 8 years old and Francesca who is 7 visited for three weeks.
I observed my daughter parenting her kids, and admire her as a mother. She emphasizes communication, both hers and the children back to her. I watched her be so careful to be very clear in what she tells her kids, especially in what she expects of them and how much she loves them. It was very instructive. I was raised in a very different way. Seldom did people in my family say what they really meant, especially if it wasn’t “nice”. I find Amy’s approach to be refreshing and a huge relief!
Interestingly of course, these ideas work beautifully with Motivational Interviewing. The more time I spend teaching and using MI, the more these ideas appear in my life. We must be very clear in communicating with our patients, and choose our words carefully. Our focus is on helping the other person decide if, when, and how they want to change behavior about their health. Through skillful use of language, we help our clients/patients clarify their goals and values, and make decisions about changing their behavior.
Of primary importance is to be non-judgmental, and make it clear to the patient that whatever choice they make is OK with us. While we might not agree with their choices, we respect their right to choose for their own lives.
